Am i an intimidating women

15 Jul

I swanned into my parents’ room to get their approval on my finished look.

I remember how much I loved the dress I was wearing and how pumped I was about the make up some nice lady at the mall had piled onto my face. When you’re a woman, like it or not, you very quickly become aware of the things about you that intimidate men.

It’s an odd realisation to make, because part of what makes dating so complicated is the idea that you need to perform for the person sitting in front of you.

People have written over and over again how first dates are like interviews, and that you have to put on a shinier version of yourself so as to not scare away the person across from you.

But as I got older, and the men I’d date started calling me intimidating as a way to weasel out of the situation we were in, I realised that the opposite sex didn’t always see intimidation as a positive thing.

am i an intimidating women-90am i an intimidating women-16am i an intimidating women-2

I’d ask my date a lot of questions about his life, so that I wasn’t talking about my job or my studio apartment all that much.

Basically, it seemed to me that if a woman is better than a man she’s dating in any aspect of her life, she’s automatically cast as “too intimidating.”I was immediately pissed, because a lot of the characteristics that men evidently considered intimidating were fundamental parts of me.

I’ve always been incredibly driven in my career, and I consider myself moderately successful.

The answers I found were actually super enraging — especially on one particular Reddit post I’d stumbled across.

Some answered, “If she’s better looking than me,” while others brought up words like “smarter,” “stronger,” “funnier,” and “outspoken.” Women who made more money than their male counterparts, or had a better job or seemed more successful in general, were also penalised.